Rumor and history.

As I understand more Bulgarian, I am able to talk to townspeople more casually and learn more about Bulgaria. Some of what I learn is only rumor, but everything I hear tells me something about people, history, politics and the country. The history is fascinating, especially the freshness of recent Bulgarian history in townspeoples' memory. I spoke to shop owners and the post office clerks in town and learned about what was common under communism. Generally, people acknowledge that there were good and bad characteristics of the culture. Plenty of food was available, though variety was limited and different foods were commonly rashioned. Everyone had a job to do, but movement between careers was frowned upon and often prohibited. Now, unemployment is widespread and is a large problem in Bulgaria and the culture is unused to job competition. The fact that they cannot earn their keep infuriates some Bulgarians. Many people believe that education was better under communism, but the truth of that may vary by region.

Fear of the government and personal mistrust of politicians is still common. While that may seem universal throughout the world, the emotional flavor of political dissention is different in Bulgaria than in the US. I was told about people who disappeared from the city during communism, some of whom were sent to work elsewhere with no notice, some of whom have not since been heard from. Former communitst officials have been pointed out to me. When talking about these people, there is sometimes a plapable hatred in the discussion. These subjects seems to creep into the conversation when talking about government and politicians. Though this does not happen anymore, of course, but the fact that it comes up unsolicited says something. The novelty of voting seems to have worn off as well, and the idea that to vote is a citizen's duty is not commonly taught.

On another note, my cousin was just married in Sacromento. It really hurts to know that I was not there. Some things about home shock me in a way, just because I don't truly realize that I'm missing them or really what I'm missing. When I hear about them it's like I'm slowly regarding a tapestry whose images dance together into a pattern in my head. Details unite and gel into an idea of framiliar people and things like family, friends, places, buildings, smells and views. Perhaps because I miss home (everything that means), the experience is more vivid than usual.